Sigh

Bad start to the week. Today just proved that I've overstayed my
welcome. I wish I could go home but I can't. I feel like I'm being
kicked out from everywhere. Dog on the street. Which reminds me that I
saw a large rat on the road - completely flattened... and wished I
hadn't looked.

Conversations about the Mumbai happenings:

(while watching Al-Jazeera show a picture of a guy in black tshirt and
jeans, with a gun who looked like the kind of guy you'd see anywhere
on the streets here, at a concert, at a mall...)
Me: But that could be anybody...
Baba: Hmm
Me: Does he look Pakistani?
Baba: Iqbal said they showed the reporters speaking to one of the
terrorists on the phone and he said he was Hyderabadi. And Iqbal said,
'Do they think we're so stupid that we can't differentiate between a
Hyderabadi dialect and a pure Urdu one?'
Baba: Maybe they're Kashmiri...

And then came the news about LeT... I'm still confused about all the
contradictions in the news reports.One eye witness account mentioned
that those at Leopold were blonde and that they downed a few beers
before shooting everyone. (Where were the guns then, though?) I'm
wondering which 'jihadist' and 'martyr' would want to have alcohol
before they did something that was supposed to be their version of
jihad? I also don't get why there was conspicuously decreased security
on that day. Both Sidin Vadukut and Rashmi Bansal visited those hotels
that day and mentioned it in their blogs.

Then I hear two people I know talk about how they're scared of Muslims
(and both normally unbiased people). The two mainstream muslim blogs
that I follow through Google Reader publish posts condemning the
violence and for a second, I pause, wondering if I should share it
with (the almost entirely non-muslim people on my google reader share
list) and wonder, why I should be so defensive and am I not like any
other Indian, so I don't. But then I come across Annie Zaidi's post on
how pointless the violence was, which is exactly how I feel about it.
Seriously, what sense does it make? There is no way killing innocent
people is going to get someone to heaven (if this was, as they say, an
act of jihad). I can't imagine what other motivations there could be.
Highlighting the Kashmir issue? How? How's this going to help? And if
they took hostages, what were their demands? Why weren't there any
negotiations? Did they even WANT something?

And just now I walk up to my manager and he's sporting a black ribbon
on his arm and I stop for a second and wonder again to myself, why
should I feel guilty?! No verse of the Qur'an could be used to justify
this senseless massacre. I watched 'A Wednesday' with sis last week
and we were both laughing and disgusted at the way the police officer
says 'Sir, the terrorists are either from Al-Qaeda or Taliban'. During
the Mumbai firings, we were watching either BBC or Al-Jazeera and the
newsreader upon hearing something similar from the Indian news
channels says 'We hear that the organization behind these blasts was
either the Al-Qaeda or Taliban. We're sorry about how we seem to be
weaving the story as we speak but you must realize that the situation
is still unfolding and we don't have all the information yet'. At
least they had that much sense. Just because Muslims are involved in
an organization doesn't mean what they're doing is for religious
reasons, it could be political, it could be militant, it could be
freedom fighters. I'm increasingly being reminded of Naseeruddin
Shah's words from that movie 'Hum daadi nahin badha sakte, sar pe topi
nahin pehen sakte...'. It's just so...

Well. I'm done talking now. Must get back to work now.