Today in brief

Wake up late

Go to work

Availability briefing gets reversed

Senior dumps more work

Work

Senior dumps more work

Work

Work

Work

Work...

:(

Wake me up when November ends.

sigh

Midyear reviews, growing up, relationships, nil work-life balance, stomach upsets and allergies... Why is life so complicated?

Sigh

I felt sick in the morning today but I stayed at home mostly because I had to catch up with work. Sigh. It's been a depressing few days, and there are darker clouds on the horizon. Too many people who're ill. May Allah bless them with good health and comfort.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun

Nashing

What's the use?
By Ogden Nash

Sure, deck your limbs in pants,
Yours are the limbs, my sweeting.
You look divine as you advance . . .
Have you seen yourself retreating?

:D

and this one is just brilliant:

Peekaboo, I almost see you
by Ogden Nash

Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to
lead it,
But there comes a day when your eyes
are all right but your arm isn't long
enough
to hold the telephone book where you can read it,
And your friends get jocular, so you go
to the oculist,
And of all your friends he is the joculist,
So over his facetiousness let us skim,
Only noting that he has been waiting for you ever since
you said Good evening to his grandfather clock under
the impression that it was him,
And you look at his chart and it says SHRDLU QWERTYOP,
and you say Well, why SHRDNTLU QWERTYOP? and he
says one set of glasses won't do.
You need two.
One for reading Erle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason and
Keats's "Endymion" with,
And the other for walking around without saying Hello
to strange wymion with.
So you spend your time taking off your seeing glasses to put
on your reading glasses, and then remembering that your
reading glasses are upstairs or in the car,
And then you can't find your seeing glasses again because
without them on you can't see where they are.
Enough of such mishaps, they would try the patience of an
ox,
I prefer to forget both pairs of glasses and pass my declining
years saluting strange women and grandfather clocks.

diversifying yourself

Right after Maverick, things happened at work that left me extremely frustrated. I seethed, screamed silently and then broke down on a phone call. The problem was temporarily solved. And then some days later, I sent Yem a message saying, 'I think I know what the problem is' and I explained, 'I need to find something else to do, I need to leave work at work, and do something else, something I like. I need balance'. And Yem said, 'Yup, you're right. You should.'

In a conversation with Blister yesterday, she said she was done with fiction, didn't see the point of it anymore. That made me think, why was I still so obsessed with fiction? Why do I still go crazy when I walk into a Crossword or an Odyssey? And I thought that I desperately need the entertainment and occasionally, writing that makes me think. Through fiction, I've always lived in a world of other people's worlds. I'm quite self-centered but I like shifting that center sometimes. Let's call it escapism. I need it, I need to find alternate worlds if mine is driving me crazy. Fiction is one of those ways.

Just came across this amazing article, read on:

Recently, a woman working for France Telecom sent an email to her father. Then she walked over to the window on the fourth floor of her office building, opened it, stepped through, and jumped to her death.

The email read: "I have decided to kill myself tonight...I can't take the new reorganization."

If this were an aberration, one depressed woman's inability to handle change, we could dismiss it. But, so far, 24 France Telecom employees have killed themselves since last year. And more than that have tried. One man stabbed himself in the middle of a meeting.

When confronted with this high rate of suicides, management at France Telecom claimed that, because of its size, 24 suicides isn't that surprising. But there is something unusual happening, and not just at France Telecom. According to America's Bureau of Labor Statistics, work-related suicides increased 28% between 2007 and 2008.

It's tempting to blame the companies. A good article in The Economist pointed to a variety of things — the drive for measurement and maximizing productivity, recession driven layoffs, poor management communication — that contribute to a disheartening, depressing work environment. The article concludes that "companies need to do more than pay lip service to the human side of management." I agree. For sure there are things leaders can and must do to handle employees with more care, compassion, and respect.

But the problem is deeper and more complicated than a callous management team that cares about nothing except profits.

The problem is also in us.

It's in how we see and define ourselves, in our identities.

The first question we ask when we meet people is "what do you do?" We have become our work, our professions. Connected 24/7 via blackberry, obsessively checking email and voice mails, we have left no space for other parts of ourselves.

If we spend all our time working, traveling to work, planning to work, thinking about work, or communicating about work, then we will see ourselves as workers and nothing more. As long as work is going well, we can survive that way.

But when we lose our jobs or our jobs are threatened — and whose isn't these days? — then our very existence is put in question. "Establishing your identity through work alone can restrict your sense of self, and make you vulnerable to depression, loss of self-worth, and loss of purpose when the work is threatened," Dr. Paul Rosenfield, Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University, told me in a recent conversation.

Who am I if you take away my work? That's a question to which we'd better have a solid answer. Fortunately, once we realize this we can do something about it.

We can diversify.

I don't mean diversifying your money, though that's a good idea too. I mean diversifying yourself. So that when one identity fails, the other ones keep you alive. If you lose your job but you identify passionately as a mother or a father, you'll be fine. If you have a strong religious identity or a view of yourself as an artist, you'll be fine. If you see yourself as an athlete, or even simply as a good, loyal friend, you'll be fine.

According to Dr. Rosenfield this is an issue of mental health, even for the mentally ill. "People with mental illness often feel their identity is reduced to being mentally ill. Part of their recovery involves reclaiming other parts of their identity — being a friend, a volunteer, an artist, a dog lover, a student, a worker. It takes an active and bold effort to broaden and overcome the diminished sense of identity that results from dealing with mental illness, hospitalizations, medications, ones doctors saying 'you need to accept being mentally ill' without also saying 'but I believe you are more than your illness and you still have potential to do so many things in the world.'"

Here's the thing though: it's not enough to see yourself in a certain way, you need to act on it. It won't help if you identify as a father but rarely spend time with your children. Or if religion is a big part of your identity and yet you rarely engage in religious activities.

One obstacle is money. For many people, an obsession with work is really about the concern of having enough money to support themselves or their family. How can we work less and still survive?

Perhaps it's the only way to not only survive but thrive. As I wrote about in an earlier post, stepping away from your work might just be the key to increasing your productivity.

And having multiple identities will help you perform better in each one. Because you learn things as an athlete or a parent or a poet that will make you a better employee or leader or friend. So the more you invest yourself in multiple identities, the less likely you'll lose any one of them.

Of course, if you do lose one, you'll be okay because you've got the others.

If you still believe that doing nothing but work is a necessity to support your lifestyle, then it's worth looking at ways to reduce your lifestyle, so you don't kill yourself trying to maintain it.

Walk away from the email and have dinner with your family. Leave work at a decent hour and play tennis with a friend. Choose rituals that have meaning to you and do them religiously. Most importantly, be consistent — doing the same thing repeatedly over time solidifies your identity.

A good friend of mine lost her job about a year ago and I called at the time to see if I could do anything. My intention was to help her find a new job as soon as possible; I knew money was tight.

I was pleasantly surprised though. She told me she had decided to postpone her job search for a few months. She was pregnant and wanted to focus on that for a while. Once she felt ready, she would look for work. She was too busy creating an identity as a mother to get caught up in her identity as a worker.

Recently I received an email from her telling me she was back at work. "I love the job," she told me. "It's a great balance to motherhood."

Aisa bhi hota hai

Having woken up late, I decided to catch the office bus today instead of taking an auto. I wasn't sure though if I was late because I had forgotten to wear my watch and did not want to check my cell. Still decided to take my chance. The bus stop is some distance away from home though, so when a shared auto stopped by, I got in specifying where I needed to get down. While we were on our way, I noticed a bus similar to the office bus so I told the autowala to please hurry up and follow that bus. Right then however, the two other people in the auto decided to get down, so I was afraid that the delay would slow me down and I'd miss the bus. The autowala, however, drove pretty fast and just as the bus was beginning to leave, brought the auto to a halt right in front of the bus. I was feeling guilty at stopping the bus in this way as it is, so I just thrust ten rupees in the autowala's hand and got into the bus. I found an empty seat and settled myself into it wondering why the bus still wasn't moving and why there was some conversation going on in the front of the bus. I thought the driver was probably arguing with someone on the road. I peeped into the aisle and realized that the autowala was trying to return the change to me, a 5 rupee coin was passed by passenger to passenger until it reached me. And I smiled.

Alhamdulillah :)

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

***02. Swam in the actual sea***

***03. Climbed a mountain - chembra :D***

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone

***08. Said "I love you" and meant it***

09. Hugged a tree

10. Water-skiied

11. Visited Paris

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea

***13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise - K had the most beautiful sunrises***

14. Seen the Northern Lights

15. Gone to a huge sports game

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa/Qutub Minar

***17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables - does curry patta count?***

18. Touched an iceberg

***19. Slept under the stars - long, long ago the whole family slept on the terrace. I mostly remember only mosquitoes***

***20. Changed a baby's diaper***

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

22. Watched a meteor shower

23. Gotten drunk on champagne

24. Given more than you can afford to charity

25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

27. Had a food fight

28. Bet on a winning horse

29. Asked out a stranger

30. Had a snowball fight

***31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can- yes, as the murder victim in a play adaptation of Twelve Angry Men:D at K :D ***

32. Held a lamb

33. Seen a total eclipse

***34. Ridden a roller coaster***

35. Hit a sixer that won the game

36. Danced like a fool and didn't care who was looking

***37. Adopted an accent for an entire day - while I've never done it, its one of my favourite activities***

***38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment - often Alhamdulillah***

39. Had two hard drives for your computer

40. Can name all 27 states.

***41. Taken care of someone who was drunk ***

***42. Had amazing friends - still do***

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

***44. Watched whales***

45. Stolen a sign/damaged public property

46. Backpacked in Europe

***47. Taken a road-trip***

48. Gone rock climbing

49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach

50. Gone sky diving

51. Visited Kashmir.

52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them

54. Visited Japan

55. Tried to make a buffalo move when it sat down in front of your car

56. Alphabetized your CDs

57. Pretended to be a superhero

58. Played 'Antakshari' in a public place and sung really loudly without caring about the onlookers.

***59. Lounged around in bed all day***

***60. Played gully cricket***

61. Gone scuba diving

62. Kissed in the rain

63. Played in the mud

***64. Played in the rain***

65. Gone to a drive-in theatre

66. Visited the Great Wall of China

67. Started a business

***68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken***

***69. Toured ancient sites - does mahabalipuram count?***

70. Taken a martial arts class

71. Played a video game for more than 6 hours straight

72. Gotten married

***73. Been in a movie - yes, Rahul Pillai's :D ***

74. Crashed a party

75. Gotten divorced

76. Gone without food for 5 days

77. Made chapatis from scratch

***78. Won first prize in a costume contest - consolation prize :/ ***

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice

80. Gotten a tattoo

81. White water rafted

82. Been on a television news program as an "expert"

83. Gotten flowers for no reason

***84. Performed on stage - there was Amalgam!***

85. Been to all states in India

86. Recorded your own music

87. Eaten shark and preferred roadside 'bandi' food

88. Kissed on the first date

89. Gone to Thailand

90. Bought a house

91. Been in a combat zone

92. Buried one/both of your parents

93. Been on a cruise ship

***94. Spoken more than one language fluently***

95. Performed in the National Day Parade in New Delhi/your city

96. Raised children

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

98. Passed out cold

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

101. Walked the Howrah bridge

***102. Sang loudly in the car - with the windows open - and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking - sang in an auto. blister, cousin and self. Favourite song back then was: yeh teri aankhein jhuki jhuki***

103. Had plastic surgery

104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived

***105. Wrote articles for a large publication - yayy mcx***

106. Lost over 10 kgs

107. Held someone while they were having a flashback

108. Piloted an airplane

109. Touched a stingray

***110. Broken someone's heart - apparently no is a word I use often. Working on it!***

111. Helped an animal give birth

***112. Won money on a TV game show - well we won a trip to europe on a show that was televised within the company :D ***

113. Broken a bone

114. Gone on an African photo safari

115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

***118. Ridden a horse - pony actually ***

119. Had major surgery

120. Had a snake as a pet

***121. Spent the night at a railway station***

122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period

123. Spent the better part of your life outside India

124. Visited all 7 continents

125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

126. Eaten kangaroo meat

127. Eaten sushi

***128. Had your picture in the newspaper - twice :)***

***129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about***

130. Gone back to school

131. Parasailed

132. Touched a cockroach

***133. Eaten fried ice cream - yes***

134. Read 'The Iliad' and 'The Odyssey'

135. Selected one 'important' author who you missed in school, and read

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

137. Skipped all your school reunions - we never had any official ones

138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

139. Been elected to public office

140. Written your own computer language

141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

143. Built your own PC from parts

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you

145. Had a booth at a street fair

146. Dyed your hair

***147. been a dj - yup, at a b hostel party***

148. Shaved your head

149. Caused a car accident

***150. Saved someone's life - :D I once pulled su away from a car that I thought was going to hit him. Think I was the only person who thought so. ***

I tag Doda, Shub, appi101, _skp, Dreamcatcher and @jeanmarsh. Do it!

cheating type of post #2

I give up. I had thoughten that i woulddo a tag post but I couldnt find any1 Yet I'm certain that someone had tagged me recently, or a few months ago.

Been having terrible days at work, now my arm is hurting and I took a brufen for my 'housemaid's knee. Yes, I'm getting old. funny how by the end of the day I'm so tired, there's absolutely nothing but work-related nonsense in my head. I'm going to sleep now, please excuse this sad post, though by now, I guess you're used to it. I don't even have the patience to proofread this. If anyone remembers any tags I was supposed to do, please tell me. I shall go back to nursing my hard working knee.

1:20 PM: There should be a way to have the peace of mind needed to write. If
I go on like this, at the end of this month I'm going to end up hating my
blog. Because I never wanted to write when I didn't feel like it. No, I'm
not giving up, not yet anyway. It should be easy, to give yourself a
makeover. (Not the beauty kind, but the personality kind). And you wake up
being the person you've always wanted to be and people around you, okay my
mom wants me to be. So much of Zen Habits and neither the habits nor zen.
Does anyone remember that lovely sequence in That 70s Show where Hyde
teaches Jackie to be zen? It was awesome! I remembered that yesterday when I
behaved very pettily in response to similar behaviour. How do men find it so
easy to have a thick skin and not worry about 'haww what she said' and
'hawww how she spoke to me' and 'haww <other nonsense>'. Russell Peters'
video on 'Women are thinkers' is so spot on. It was as if some portions of
that video were tailor made for me. I'm often thinking the randomest things,
and one of my weird thinking habits is to wonder where things originated.
For exampul, if someone's telling another person about this great restaurant
they discovered, I wonder who they must have learned about it from, and who
that person must have learned it from and how the first person ever noticed
this place. Somewhere along the chain, I forget and get back to work, but I
often indulge in such silly chains of thinking. Please tell me I'm not the
only one :|

:)

It looks like the Europe trip might finally, actually, happen! How awesome it will be, insha allah! I’m glad that the time restriction doesn’t hold so much anymore, but the situation is slightly funny, deciding where to go when there are so many more important things yet to be decided. I hope this will be important enough to everyone else to count in their heads as a constraint. Sigh.

I love the fact that I thought about Turkey and so many coinkidinkis happened. I still don’t know if its possible though. As stupid and hindi-filmi as it sounds, I saw videos of Switzerland and was taken by the idea of going there! Then I saw Greece in another movie and that seemed tempting too. And then I was looking at the map and saw the Netherlands and remembered a calendar we used to have that had a picture of amazingly beautiful tulips… Sigh. Tis so beautiful. Why is it so expensive though? :’(

Okay, off to home.

Goobhay