Sunday, August 28, 2005

Thinking that I shouldn't think so much

So well, I was talking to a junior of mine some time back and at some point in the conversation, my eyes (as they are wont to do) flicked to the computer screen and back ...where someone's blog was open, (at least one blog is perpetually open on my comp :| ) and I was reminded of a reference made to her on someone else's blog and at the same time she suddenly said 'Oh I've read your blog ...' . It reminded me of something I had just been thinking about, a blogging situation that usually isn't applicable when most of the people who read your blog are people you don't know, but looms up when you might see/meet readers in 3D.

Like when I see people whose blogs I read but have never spoken more than a sentence to. This becomes more significant if the blogger is very opinionated or maintains a blog that could be quite personal. You might even be talking to the person while you're thinking of something completely different that he/she wrote that had struck you for being hilarious/biased/ridiculous etc. It's like having someone hold an opinion about you even without your having talked to them even once. Of course, that happens without blogs too, but writing is generally more revealing than other media.

I realized sometime in the past few days, how unsettling it can be to have no idea of what thoughts a person holds inside his/her head about you. Sure, normally you do have some idea, but you never know, it could be something that could have disastrous effects on your opinion about yourself among other things. ( Yes, I know you're not supposed to let other people's opinions affect you beyond a point, but it's inevitable sometimes. And what if they're right? What if you're being totally blind to something that's staring everyone else in their faces?)

I can't explain how this fits in here, especially considering they're lines from a situation that's supposed to be funny, Rachel's lines from the Friends' pilot episode:

RACHEL: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has
always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a
shoe, you're a shoe!'.
And today I just stopped and I said,
'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a
purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you
to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha-
It's a metaphor, Daddy!

but, what if you think you're a hat, but everyone thinks you're a shoe ... and its time you did something about it? But your mind is uniquely yours, someone else's explanation about why you're a shoe might break you completely and might render your being a hat completely useless at the same time. (And right now i'm wondering if your mind is able to work out these (could be your perception again) desultory lines that my mind is producing.)

Another stymying thing could be working out why someone is doing a said thing. For example, when you have to circle options on an omr sheet ... you've calculated the answer and found that the correct answer is the first option. Its a known fact that *sometimes* the first option is an obvious, wrong answer that you might mark in a hurry. If you're as accustomed to giving multiple choice tests as I am, you might wonder, 'Why is it the first option? Is it the more obvious wrong answer?' or if you're in a more confident, optimistic (even falsely :D) mood you might think 'They want people to think that it isn't the wrong answer, when it IS the correct answer so they put it up front so as to confuse you'. And ... you can go on and on debating either way without certainly secondguessing someone's motives, or in this case, the setter of the question paper.

Befuddling and exasperating, how badly your mind can play and be played around with. Oh, and I have a mock to write tomorrow, better put my brain to better use. Tta :D


playboi said...

is it a man. is it a bird. is it a plane. noo. its CC post .. :D

i know what u are talking about. but mannnn the way u wrote it, it took me quite some time to understand it.

Hey, chill. No one is playing with ur mind. No one i know atleast.

Surinder said...

you need rest .. you know that ! :) ..

go for a trip :) .. or better .. come to delhi ;)


one more thing .. do you really think about what the other person thinks about you ?


GratisGab said...

Good post. It is a problem and anonymity can be your answer.

Handa said...

finally its working.... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Phoenix said...

U're right...U shouldn't think so much...
It's incredibly easy to question things, to question EVERYTHING, but rust me, it's very unsettling.
Probably that''s one reason y u have blogs...

IdeaSmith said...

I like this. Your metaphors are not lost on your audience...we're all bloggers here remember...those strange species who'd rather tell strangers about their lives than their friends and family.

manuscrypts said...

always liked 'none of the above' :)

burf said...

it is a problem when u think about all the things or all faces of a thing... can make u a bit indecisive...

Sagar Rastogi said...

nice post.. i thot the same thing too. best not to let others' opinions affect you..

The Reporter said...

Playboi, I never said anyone was playing with my mind :)

Surdie, i'm takin too much rest anyway :(, thanks for the invitation though :D .. No, I normally don't think much about what the other person thinks, but it does matter to me sometimes ..

gabby, thanks ... about the anonymity .. it hasnt got too bad yet, so i'm happy for now :)

Handa- yeah, right! :P

Phoenix - agreed .. but arent both of us saying the opposite things? :)

Ideasmith - I like it too, everyone's understood tihs post in different ways, kinda proves a point this post was trying to make :) And yeah, its sad and nice at the same time, the bloggers thing you mentioned ..

Manu, ah, that's another tricky one :-s

burf, but arent we supposed to make informed decisions? :)

sagar, agreed, but till what extent? :)

English August said...

i dont know if this fits in, but i must mention that I had to close down my first blog after the attending my first bloggers' meet. because knowing those people personally made it difficult for me to write freely what i felt. Turned out that I wasnt the only one who felt that way, there were several others too!