Do you ever make up imaginary conversations in your mind? You go on and on, everything thats been on your mind, everything that you'd like to give vent to arranged in neat, clean, incisive, precise imaginary words, arranged with care to receive the attention they should and to draw a reaction that would give you satisfaction. Yet while you're in the middle of it and you've reached a point where you've put your point most strongly, you realize you're never going to say it because you know its futile, that a particular point in time has passed and taken away more than you thought it would.
There isn't any answer to your why or atleast one that you can find and you know you dont really care but sometimes things come back to you and the feelings that come with it are in total opposition of what they were at that lost moment. Its like when you're in the middle of a conversation thats going well and something wrongly worded makes you seethe, your fists clench and you imagine a resounding slap, something that could cause stars to dance around or maybe even cause unconsciousness and then you realize that you will never do it because you know its not worth it and the only thing you can do is let it be, some people are just not worth it.