Tuesday, July 20, 2004


been a long long time hasnt it ?
 Today was Noor's birthday and i didnt call her :( .
 Today was Fairy baji's shadi and i didnt go .
 Today I got my Graphics grade . Something i thought i didnt deserve.
Allah is giving me a major signal here , it says 'Dont cheat! ' .Something i hardly ever did, and when i did it , these are the consequences i've faced . Horrible horrible undeserved grades. But ,alhamdulillah .Inshallah my hard work will pay off somewhere .It hurt so bad , i was totally heartbroken , cant even describe the pain.I couldnt stop thinking how i would explain it to mom and dad . I went up to the terrace from Somu's lab,spent quite some time there crying my eyes out , and pleading to Allah for his mercy . It felt so bad, so much of hard work gone awry . I finally decided it was too late to stay out on the terrace and started walking down to the hostel. Every step seemed so heavy , i could hardly make myself move. Somewhere near the middle when i thought no one was around , a few cries came out , and then  i heard someone coming up beside me , so started walking properly and shut up . Then i heard Su call out my name, i could hardly look at him , let alone speak . Think he realized it and went on his way. I walked back to my room and got back to all the crying work.Found Vipul online, had written to him sometime back and he'd replied . So when i replied to his long ago buzz, he put a yawn smiley , and i thought great , who do i have to talk to now ? Wanted badly to talk to mom/dad/ or anybody i could feel good with , but mom woulda been sleeping . Then this guy got all senti when i said he could go ahead and sleep . Asked me what happenned , told him the story . Dad came online in the middle , he got the pic , and since the connection was really slow , he called up . Spoke to him , he reassured me , made me laugh . God , i just dont deserve my parents . Said all that mattered was that i'd given my best and not to take it so hard and go to sleep . 'Jab se kya karrein the, aisich rotewe baithewe the ? ' :) . May Allah bless my parents and make me deserving of them . Called Vipul to say thanks, man, he's also got a tough life .
So as for the old news, college has started , thse people leaving for kodai on thursday . now i hve more reasons to be glad that i didnt go because they're going to miss the add/drop date for the courses plus a lot of classes .
Things are fine at home alhamdulillah . Mom bought  me lots of good clothes alhamdulillah. One of them , a pakistani dress is really awesome , its got the softest material .
Our college now has made compulsory 85% attendance . Wonder what's going to happen . Vipul said there was a guy he knew who used to consistently get bad grades ( that sounds so like me ) but he was a very hard working guy and today he got into oracle . So did Deepika , Ranu and Vindhya .Good for them mashallah .
I spend a lot of time on forums.gawaher.com , its a really nice welcoming , warm website .May Allah fulfil all my wishes for this semester atleast inshallah .
Hoping to start tomorrow with a new note,

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